The Edge [of all] Journeys

I’m sitting here with a coffee and a leftover brownie, basking in the sleepiness from a very late night and memories from a wonderful Passover last night shared with family and friends.

One of the advantages of being in an actual house, is being able to host dinners and events. I really enjoy hosting and love serving people. To see full bellies and lots of smiles is the reward for me. Living in a trailer has hindered the ability to host. Although we have attempted with success on occasion. Of course, hosting comfortably while in a trailer generally has to be done outside (we have done it inside and our guests have been very accommodating even though they didn’t have much elbow room). We have had another family of 5 over for a sleepover and it worked. We have had rotisserie over a campfire for a large group, and even with my small kitchen, have fed large groups of people. I just have to be creative. Oh, those were the days. We’ve been in this house for 5 months now and I’ve almost forgotten what it’s like to live on the road.

We are still planning to move back into our trailer, but are waiting to save up a little money first before we hit the road again. We’ve not sure how long that will take since we haven’t had any extra to save lately. We’re trusting that when we’re supposed to leave, we’ll have the funds to do so. In the meantime, we are really enjoying the house, the town, the people and Yahweh’s plan. Yah’s plans are more often than not, different than our own plans. I’ve been stretched personally and challenged many times to just rely on His purposes and timing and just let my own expectations go.

But, back to last night. 🙂 We had 4 other families over to share in passover with us. The lamb took a bit longer to cook than I anticipated so, we began later than I had hoped (another challenge to let go of my own expectations) but trusted in Yah’s timing for everything. We started off the night by mounting a mazuzah on our doorpost. Yes, this is just a traditional jewish way of interpreting the scripture to “write His word on your doorpost.” We had this mazuzah for years and never used it. It was a handmade gift and is very beautiful but I had reservations about using it since it is “jewish tradition.” I had wanted to literally write scripture on my doorpost, but have never gotten around to it. This year, the idea of mounting the Mazuzah seemed cool. Contained in this little decorative wooden box, is a small paper scroll with the “Shema” passage (Deuteronomy 6:4-9), in which Yah commands us to keep His words constantly in our minds and in our hearts. The scroll also contains another passage (Deuteronomy 11:13). It is not a superstition but is simply a decorative way to obey Deuteronomy, 6:9 (And you shall write them upon the doorposts of your house, and on your gates). We broke bread and drank wine in remembrance of What Yahweh’s son did for us, and shared a wonderful meal together. Andrew read some scripture and we had some good discussion and people shared some of their personal testimonies and experiences. The discussion got late and although it didn’t really feel that late, after everyone left, it felt really good to go to bed.

Thank you to everyone who was able to come and share in this very special feast with us. To the rest of our spiritual family, we remembered you last night, we love and miss you and are so thankful for you and your friendship and encouragement. Blessings and Happy Feast!

Time is a funny thing. Take for instance the time that I am spending to write this when perhaps I should be sleeping. From a certain vantage point this time could be better spent. And from another, this is the best way to spend it.

For some reason this day culminated in a peculiar sequence of events and observations that might have otherwise gone unnoticed if it hadn’t been for the curious case of Benjamin Button. Do you ever notice that? How some days more than others just seem to be trying to communicate a particular message all their own. Maybe every day should be like that and it is only certain days that we’re actually listening carefully enough to catch it. And then again maybe some days just shout their message more loudly than others.

So much time has passed since last I wrote. That must be some sort of psychological hurdle that ironically prevents me from writing more frequently until finally some sort of unavoidable inspiration overcomes the inertia of all the things that have passed unrecorded and I have no choice but to but to let it all come flowing out in a colorful outburst laden with weightier harmonies than any routine life-stenography could carry.

Today was dripping violently with Time saturation as though the last few months have been soaking in it and someone finally decided to raise it high with discovery’s expectation for how much It held and how long it would take to drip out.

I have been driving myself hard the last few months particularly with work. It’s easy to do as I love what I’m good at and there’s no shortage of things to demand my particular zeal for stubborn problem solving. But in the middle of that seemingly inescapable and delightful storm also comes the burden of feeling like my other priorities – some of them like family, which are far more important – are just getting the left-overs of me at best. And while I know that the blessings of my work at home situation afford me much greater flexibility and more time with my wife and kids than most, it still doesn’t feel like enough – it feels like I should have more for them and less for work. What do we allow to devour our time?

We were clearly past due for a vacation and what better way to spend it than a weekend-long prophecy seminar about the End Times, some time catching up with family and friends, and a solid day of shopping in Winnipeg? Yes, when we returned home after almost a week I knew that we had a great vacation because we needed another. Time.

But the healthiest part was going (nearly) cold turkey on work for a bit. Of course this means that I’m having to drag myself past some reluctance to build up steam again, but I think that this is a good thing too and will hopefully help me strike a fresh and more stable balance as things settle out once more.

And then there are video games. Ah how quickly dormant passions resurface when the right conditions conspire to release them: the placebo of an outlet that involves problem solving of a very different sort than the routine, a new facilitator (iPad ironically purchased solely for work at the first), and the excuse of vacation time. If you don’t understand how I can connect the concepts of Passion and Gaming, then you have somewhat to learn about the authentically male heart. In perfect Eldredge-ian philosophy (most of which I believe is very very truthful) I can recognize that hours and hours poured into colonizing planets, designing and commanding fleets of ships, and taking over the universe one star system at a time Is really nothing more than my male heart seeking a visceral kingdom building experience. And yet that is Time that completely evaporates, and there is a real Kingdom to build, and the mind knows this even as the spirit knows that Kingdom is far more real and adventurous than even the most cleverly crafted game. Ah but we we like our instant gratification don’t we? There’s nothing quite like starting with only one planet and no technology and in the span of a few near-all-nighters defeating 4 other alien species for domination of the universe.

There is nothing like the innocent disappointment of a child who missed out on some enjoyment of an incredible moment in life because it didn’t match their expectations of how it was going to or should unfold to drive home the lesson that every moment in Time is precious and if we are constantly requiring them to fit our preconceptions of how they ought to play out then we will be constantly let down. Today reminded me that Time is not something we can place demands upon, but that we will also have a far superior experience within its confines if we decide to make the most of it and savor. This was essentially the encouragement and warning I gave Reayah. It was also the wisdom shared by Renee’s grandmother at the girl’s Tea Party that Renee and the girls hosted here while the boys and I holed up upstairs and did guy things.

Then today my laptop power supply fried out. It was the oddest thing. The failure caused a fluctuation in the power of other things plugged into the same power supply, accompanied by a faint pop and the smell of toasted electronics though it took me a minute or two to figure out what had happened. (Almost) nothing lasts forever and Time claims many things. In the instance that I figured out what had happened, the implications threatened to choke me. Thankfully the power supply for my old laptop turned out to have the same exact watts, amps, and plug size, and I can use that until the new one arrives.

As if attempting to tie all those threads into a final tapestry from the day, Renee decided she was going to watch a movie tonight and it was going to be The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. For all it’s shortcomings it’s still an excellent thought-provoker and I found one thing in particular resonating quite deeply: “when it comes to the end [of a particular plan, of a day, of a season, of a life], you have to let it go.”

How true. Seems like there was more I had intended to write, but coming to the end of this post I am discovering that my brain is using Time less and less efficiently the longer I keep at this and I too have to let it go.

Probably about time for a photo refresh here:

So, we’ve been in one place since April. That’s hard to believe. We have had a couple little weekend and a 2 week-long trips during that time but always returned to our little spot in front of Leon’s work shop and beside the barn where Lewis the Llama and Pixie the horse are always wondering around. Last week, as Andrew wrote, we moved from our trailer into an old, but warm 3 bedroom house in town. We loved being at Leon & Jenn’s but it was getting too cold and instead of heading south for the winter this year, we felt we were supposed to stick around. This week, it became winter officially. The temperatures have dropped (and will keep dropping) and the snow is here to stay. Being in a cozy house with lots of room for the kids to frolic makes me almost welcome the cold winter weather. For after playing a while in the snow, or a long walk to the library and back, we can leisurely take off our boots and coats with plenty of elbow room and enjoy the rest of the day indoors, sipping hot cocoa, playing games and doing more school (winter is a great time to get more school done-less time outside)!

I can say that I have become a country girl. I really love it here. I loved the spring when the snow was melting and people starting riding their quads, and the town got together to work to sandbag around the lake again. After it dried up a bit, we’d pass the tractors and other farm vehicles along the highway and wave to the farmers as they started planting. The summer was a blur, gardening and enjoying the sun. The fields were golden yellow and comforting. Fall brought out the big combines that took up the whole shoulder and your lane and some of the far lane, but around here, there was never any traffic so it was always easy to pass them and the kids made sure to wave as we were going by.

Now, winter is here. After this season is over, we’ll have stayed here a full year. One whole year in one spot. Nice. We’ll see how anxious we are to start traveling again in the spring. Andrew wants to be in Colorado for the spring/summer next year, which will be nice, although I can say already that I’ll miss this place.

I love Winnipegosis. I love the size. Even in such a small town (630), there are many stores here where you can find almost anything you’re looking for without having to drive to the large town 30 minutes away. There are two grocery stores, a hardware store, a Chinese restaurant, a hospital, a hotel, 2 banks, a pharmacy, service shops, real estate, salons, and a fire station with the only pink fire truck in Canada! I love the little library, which is as big as our living room but Zach thinks it’s the best library ever, since we did some cool crafts and played a few games there in the summer and he can take home a new bookmark and stickers after every visit. They can also order in any book I request.

I love the way people wave you when you pass them, whether they know you or not. I love the feeling of community. Even though we might not know many people here yet, many people know of us and have heard of us. Yes, people talk and gossip, but it seems to me so far that it’s more of just talking about what’s going on around town, and not malicious. I feel that if anything ever happened to us or if we really needed help, we would have lots of people come and help. We’ve felt that with many of the places we’ve visited and groups we’ve become a part of. We are so blessed and thankful to have so many people in our lives who we can love and trust like family and who love us. Many of them are not near us and are missed.

After a week of being in the house, we still need to move a few things from the trailer yet, and then do a thorough cleaning and winterizing. I’m planning to paint a few rooms in the house, just to make it more personal. Andrew rolls his eyes at me and smiles when I tell him what I’d like to do and try to explain to him, from an artist’s perspective he importance of colour in our lives.

I’ve used about half the tomatoes we harvested for sauce but still have many more to can or freeze. I need to can my beets as well. They are getting soft. We have a lot of storage space in the basement for food supplies that will come in handy and be important especially during the winter when blizzards and electrical outages and other inconveniences could prevent or limit our access to outside supplies.

Have a blessed weekend! oxoxo

We just moved into a house for the first time in 2.5 years. Weird. I’m too exhausted to dive into the mundane yet fascinating details that could become poetic. We will see how house-living for a winter treats us and then in all likelihood move back into the trailer and hit the road once again come spring. But next spring we have our sights set on Colorado for a summer, and that would be really nice.

The house belongs to Renee’s grandparents, and it is quite a blessing. It’s pretty old and rough around the edges, but more space than we know what to do with. It was so interesting…. of course this is the first time that Sky has been in a house – like, to live in – and if we went in another room he would always get a little upset and come looking for us. It was bizarre to have to walk 30 feet through 2 rooms in order to throw a diaper away. The kids are all super excited to have their own bedroom space even if the boys are sharing a room and the girls are sharing a room (although Bennah does have his own little nook with a mattress in the hall).

There are many settling in adventures yet to be had. I think my biggest concern is that we’re going to acquire a bunch of stuff that we’re just going to have to get rid of again in the spring. The prospect of expanding bothers me, although it is super nice to stretch out. Still have to winterize the trailer and do a bunch of other stuff.

Now I am even boring myself. What a whirlwind. The Denver trip was amazing. Still reeling from that.

Zach had a hard time going to sleep tonight because of the creaky house. Or the excitement. I’m looking forward to a nice quiet work environment for once, where I can be upstairs at my desk while the kids wreak havoc downstairs. So much more I want to capture about this moment, but everything feels bland and gray in my tired foggy brain.

What a blessing it is to be here, and what exciting things are on the brink of unfolding this winter!

THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE BEEN POSTED A WEEK AND A HALF AGO… from my phone… which conspired against me and left it as a draft….grrr….. but anyway. Here it was (Oct 24th):

Sitting in a double-booked seat that just got sorted out on a plane getting ready to depart Chicago for Vegas and finally get to Denver this afternoon after a 24 hour travel marathon that included a 5 hour bus ride to Winnipeg yesterday and almost 4 hours of sleep last “night”. Nothing like commuting 🙂

I wish I could use the time to write the many posts I have composed in my mind over the last few months, but that would involve << just had to put my phone away for take-off >> a tricky bit of memory.

In a much more orderly and chronological fashion those posts would have talked about leaking hot water heaters that could not even be fixed by re-welding seams and hence weeks of self-inflicted cold showers (what fun are other options?); fall overtaking several projects (like building) that never materialized for lack of time and resources; bountiful harvests from Renee’s gardens;  starting up guy nights with a couple awesome buddies for Scripture studies and hang out time; busy busy work work and more work; crazy spontaneous floods of communication on many unexpected fronts; Sky turning into an insatiable walker and climber shortly after; Kids Club; a healthy dose of summer mini adventures; and of course most recently the culmination of the Fall Feasts of YHWH.

We had the blessed privilege of meeting and spending Sukkot (the Feast of Tabernacles) for 8-9 days with around 100 believers from all over Manitoba. Awesome fellowship, worship, studies, meals, and adventures together like zip lines, playing on the ropes course, hikes to suspension bridges and abandoned homesteads, etc.

And with that concluded last friday we headed back the 7 hour trek to Winnipegosis, had one last family Sabbath together, and dropped me off in Dauphin yesterday to begin my Clvr week in Denver while Renee holds down the fort in the North and stays available for Kids Club.

Well, as far as posts go this is leaving my journaling itch quite unscratched. But it will have to do for now as i’m burning through phone battery here.x2

…nevermind… going to have to risk the battery as this adventure unfolds… flash forward a few hours and I have to pee something fierce and we’re in a holding pattern circling Vegas because we didn’t quite beat the President landing and now we’re on standby in the sky with the fasten seatbelts sign illuminated. Not making this up. It figures that Obama would be here at the same random time as me… for more reasons than you (or I) know.

What else will happen today? When will I finally get to upload this? Pretty turbulent… some people are getting motion sick…

ok finally final descent… will upload from Vegas. And then on to Denver at last.

But super quickly – have to say: I love you and miss you my incredible wife Renee and our wonderful children Bennah, Reayah, Zach, Jaiden, Joy, and Sky!!!

I started writing this about a month ago. It takes me a while to finish anything lately. I have many projects waiting to be completed and goals to accomplish. One of the biggest goals I had this spring, was to have a garden. We planted 3 gardens this year. Or, I should say, we are sharing 3 gaardens. My grandparents just recently moved into an assisted living complex so I was offered the use of their garden. I planted some things for myself, but I started it mostly for my aunt and her family who live in Churchill, Manitoba but spend the summer in Winnipegosis. They have since mostly taken over the job of weeding and watering. They leave end of August and while they can enjoy some things while they’re here, I really hope they have at least some squash to take back with them. Another of my aunts, a veteran gardener is graciously sharing her enormous and delicious garden with us. We are also sharing Leon & Jen’s wonderful garden as well. The kids have worked very hard this year planting and now weeding. It has been rewarding for me to share in their excitement at seeing the corn growing almost as tall as them already, the little carrot tops finally poking up through the soil and being able to nibble the lettuce and beet leaves while they work. This year we planted herbs, carrots, lettuce, spinach, kale, beets, tomatoes, potatoes, a few varieties of squash, cucumbers, beans, peas and onions. Between the three gardens, we are hoping for an abundance of food to store, share and save for seeds. We spent a couple of weeks in Winnipeg, at the end of June, visiting with my family. We wanted to stay longer, but I wanted to get back to the gardens. Two weeks is a long time for weeds to grow! I ended up having to replant the lettuce, spinach and carrots in my aunt’s garden, but everything else survived.

We’ve had many adventures already in the three months we’ve been here. Since we arrived in April, we’ve experienced a blizzard, cool spring weather, thunderstorms, flooding, ticks, mosquitos, and now the heat of the summer. The hot temperatures have killed off most of the mosquitos (yay!) and persuaded the kids to cool off in the pool pretty much every day. The evenings are almost always cool and pleasant.

Last month we had friends come and visit and just enjoy the day, fellowshipping  together. The women went on a quad ride led by Jen, the veteran quad-er. Knowing all the paths and deep water holes to take us through, she led us in and around their property and across the highway along the river. I wasn’t sure how I was going to like it, but ending up really enjoying it, even though I did run right into a barbed wire fence. The shiny new quad got a scratch and I was a little embarrassed but got over it. It’s such a different way to enjoy the wide open country, and darned if I’m not turning into a bit of a red-neck!

We love our family and friends that are here have really started to enjoy the “Village on the Lake”, even though the lake has almost taken over the poor village this spring. Bible camp was cancelled this year on account of flooding, which was a big disappointment for the kids but with the almost limitless possibilities for them here already, they got over it. We (or mostly they) swim in the pool, go for walks in the pasture, explore the junkyard, build forts, go for quad rides, jump on the trampoline, drive to town for treats and visit family and friends.

We are still doing school nearly every day but only one subject a day, math or writing, just to keep their mind from turning to mush over the summer. We have taken the summer off in the past only to discover that they have forgotten almost everything they have learned in the previous year and I’ve had to teach them some things over again, or it takes them way too long to adjust to school schedule again. If we continue through the summer, it’s not so difficult to start again in the fall.

Well, I have now finally, after 3 months, accomplished another goal tonight: finishing a blog! My next goal will be to not wait so long before I write the next one.

Well, in the 3 weeks that have elapsed since my back became a confounding component of every day life, adventure has still managed to hunt me down from time to time. I’ve usually paid for it the next day, but am still figuring out how quickly (or not) I can force a return to normality. Daily lower back yoga stretches (thanks again brother D for the recommendations) and natural bromelain / turmeric capsules have been helping quite a bit. Never fast enough, but definitely progress.

I can summarize the last few weeks by the events that my back has not appreciated.

Leon and I thought we’d head out for a leisurely evening of knocking down trees along what will become our driveway. As many a good tractor adventure has wound up, we broke through a soft patch and got quite stuck. The mud pit got the better of our heroic attempts for an hour or so to rescue the thing. So, we were doomed to head back the next rainy evening to pull it out with an even bigger tractor.

This worked out to be a blessing because the only way to get the big tractor out was directly through the woods along the path where the bigger trees were. With the soft ground it pushed them right down no problem and the driveway was officially carved.

Once the weather cleared up and everything started drying out rapidly from the warm, sunny weather I made several trips back there to start limbing and chopping up all the trees. We’ll have to get an estimate on what it will take to build up the driveway and dig the substantial drainage ditches that will have to go in. But here’s a few shots of the lot and the path we carved, and the beginning of the clearing effort:

Overall view facing east. The gap in the trees will be the driveway.

The highlighted greenish patch is the building site and the gap again is the future drive.

The chopping and clearing project.

And on top of all that I have edited and uploaded Episode 11 of Journeys and created dated posts for every previous episode, AND updated The Movie page to list them all out for quick reference.